The Art of Being Bold in a World That Wants You Small

Rasandi Ranasinghe

Ever since childhood, you’ve probably heard the same life formula over and over again:

“Study well! Pass your exams! Join clubs, play sports, get good grades! Find a stable job! Earn money, save it, and be grateful, some have it worse. If you don’t like the job you got, just learn to like it. That’s life.”

This script, repeated by teachers, parents, relatives, and well-meaning adults, becomes ingrained in us long before we’re old enough to question it. It’s the same blueprint handed down through generations, like a family heirloom no one dares to challenge. You’re told to trust the process, to follow the path, and one day…magically you’ll be successful. Happy, even. But is that really true?

How many times did someone stop and ask you, “What do you want, love? What makes you happy?”

Think about it. How often were you truly encouraged to sit with your feelings and answer that question without judgment, fear, or pressure? Probably not many. In fact, most of us wouldn’t even know how to answer. Maybe you’d say, “I love makeup,” or “I want to sing,” or “I dream of driving across the country.” Maybe it was something even simpler, “I just want peace.”

But would anyone take those answers seriously? Would they look at you and say, “That’s valid. Let’s build your life around that”? Or would they chuckle, dismiss it as a childish fantasy, and gently steer you back to the ‘right’ path?

The biggest flaw in how past generations raised us is that they focused so much on giving us what they believed was best that they forgot ‘the best’ is subjective.

They meant well. They wanted us to be secure. To be safe. To be well-fed and well-settled. But in their pursuit to protect us, they unintentionally confined us. They measured success by degrees, paychecks, and promotions, forgetting that fulfillment doesn’t always wear a suit and tie.

And once you land that stable job whether it was your dream or someone else’s, the cycle continues.

The pressure doesn’t end with employment. It morphs. “Get married! Have kids! Build a secure future. Your dreams can wait. That vacation? Take it after you’ve done something more productive.” One milestone leads to another like a conveyor belt you can’t step off. And suddenly, the things you loved…music, art, exploring, writing, laughing freely begin to shrink in importance.

Then one day… boom. Life passes you by. Your unfulfilled dreams die with you.

And that’s the tragedy. That’s the heartbreak. That’s the silent scream of thousands of souls who lived responsibly, dutifully, and quietly yet never fully. They checked all the boxes, but forgot to write their own questions.

And the worst part? This is the fate of so many people who never got the chance to truly live.

It doesn’t have to be yours.

I had this realization while sitting in front of an overly bright computer screen at work.

No matter how friendly the people were, I knew something wasn’t right. Everyone was kind. The AC was working. The coffee was decent. But my soul wasn’t smiling. That’s when I finally understood the true meaning of life; it’s not about just existing, it’s about becoming the boldest, most unapologetic version of yourself.

Breaking Free from the “Small” Life

Older generations mean well, but their version of a successful life often turns us into smaller versions of what we truly want to be… miniature, compromised versions of our ideal selves. Our dreams shrink to fit the mold. Our voices get softer. Our creativity is labeled “a phase.”

The world isn’t designed to guide dreamers; it’s built for those who either carve their own path or conform to what’s expected. It rewards the obedient. It celebrates the predictable.

But if you’re someone who needs a push, a little guidance… what then?

You create your own rules. You choose to be bold.

You choose to be loud when silence is easier. You choose to be different even when the world begs you to blend in. You choose joy, even if it means disappointing those who wanted something else for you.

How to Be Bold in a World That Wants You Small

Let’s get practical. Let’s talk about action.

Expand Your Mind; But On Your Own Terms

Self-help books and podcasts are great, but don’t force yourself to consume them just because others say they’re life-changing. Growth is beautiful, but pressure isn’t. Instead, make time for both growth and enjoyment… balance learning with what genuinely excites you. If poetry speaks to you more than productivity hacks, read the poetry. If dancing helps you heal more than journaling, then dance.

Challenge the “Safe” Path

Stability is important, but so is purpose. Ask yourself, are you truly happy, or just comfortable? There’s a difference. A big one. If your current path feels suffocating, start exploring ways to change it. Even small steps count. Maybe it’s a side hustle. Maybe it’s a blog. Maybe it’s just giving yourself permission to want more.

Build Confidence Through Action

Confidence doesn’t come from thinking. It comes from doing. You can read about bravery all day, but you won’t feel it until you take the leap. Wear that bold outfit, speak up in that meeting, start that passion project. The more you act, the stronger you become. Action breeds confidence, not the other way around.

Accept That Not Everyone Will Approve

Some people will judge you for going against the norm. Let them. Their expectations are not your responsibility. You were not born to fulfill someone else’s idea of a successful life. You were born to discover your own.

Stop Postponing Joy (But Never at the Cost of Others)

There will always be “one more thing” to do before you allow yourself to enjoy life. Always. Stop waiting. Take the trip. Buy the dress. Dance in the rain. Laugh too loud. Sleep in. But make sure that in your pursuit of joy, you’re not harming or stepping on others. True happiness should be guilt-free and kind.

Final Thoughts? Live, Live, Live!

So many people don’t realize all of this until it’s too late. But I’m glad my small, nineteen-year-old brain could grasp it early… because I had the right people to guide me. Some of them had achieved their dreams, and some hadn’t. But I learned something valuable from each of them: you can learn from anyone, at any time.

Wisdom doesn’t always come with age. Sometimes, it comes with heartbreak. Sometimes, it comes with burnout. Sometimes, it comes with a single, life-altering thought on a random Tuesday afternoon.

That being said, don’t let anything or anyone consume you.

Be an individual, independent thinker when making bold and fierce decisions. But make sure those choices don’t come at the cost of hurting others.

You don’t have to be extraordinary…just be out of the ordinary.

And above all else? Live, live, live.